Quick and Easy Pizza Pockets

I like naughty, bad-for-me food. I also like quick and convenient food. But I do not like paying five frickin' dollars for two Hot Pockets! So.. I decided to try and make my own and they were not too shabby, if I do say so, myself! The kids even ate them without complaint - quite a feat, considering #2 is going through an "I hate all food that isn't hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, or grapes" phase..  They're pretty straight-forward and simple. Here is what you'll need:

-Pillsbury Flaky Layers Biscuits (or generic equivalent)
-Pizza Sauce (store-bought would be quicker, but you can also make your own pretty quickly: tomato sauce, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, onion powder, fresh minced garlic or garlic powder)
-Pizza Toppings/Fillings
-Cheeeeeeeeeese! (I <3 cheese... you will see this as a trend with future posts..)

1. Preheat your oven to 350*

2. If you're making your own sauce, open the tomato sauce and mix the seasonings in with it in a bowl - don't ask me how much - measuring is for sissies! Just add and taste until you like it.. I prefer more oregano in mine with a little parmesan cheese...

3. Put one or two of your raw biscuits on a cutting board or your counter and flatten and stretch it like this and add a little bit of sauce:

4. Add your desired fillings - Normally, I would have made what I call a "garbage" pizza.. which basically every single pizza topping I can get my hands on, except fish of any kind and pineapple (fruit on pizza=nasty... I won't do it!)... but, since my ever-picky children were the recipients of todays' culinary adventure, I played it safe with ham and turkey pepperoni. Put cheese on top of this, but make sure not to over-do it with the fillings.. if you can't close it up all the way, you'll end up with one hell of a mess on your pan..

5. To roll it up,  grab the longer sides, pull them together and pinch them closed. Fold in the smaller ends and pinch them closed, as well, until it looks like this (or better than mine..):

6. Flip it over so the side you just closed is on the pan. Sprinkle with a little bit of cheese and bake. It *should* make 8 total pizza pockets, unless you're like me and wanted monster ones for the big people.. In that case, just squish two of the raw biscuits together and make a double pizza pocket. Place them in the oven for about 15-20 minutes, but keep an eye on them. My oven is spawn of the devil and I don't trust it as far as I could throw it..

So, after all that, this is what I ended up with:

SOOOOOOOOOO  tasty! They're much lighter than actual Hot Pockets brand, thanks to the flaky biscuits. You could probably get ambitious and make your own biscuit dough or make them healthier somehow, but that's just not how I roll.. I have cranky starving kids nipping at my heels and most of the time, I barely have time to brush my hair, let alone make biscuit dough from scratch... Anyway.. You could probably put just about anything in here and they'd be pretty good.. I'm actually thinking of making breakfast versions of them tomorrow now..

Next up will probably be some kind of 4th of July inspired baked good - I have a knack for baking and rarely pass up the opportunity to make (and eat) cake! Happy Weekend!

-Heather

If you have a recipe suggestion, please let me know!

Ahhhh.. my first post! If you're like me, you sit your ass on Pinterest for a better part of the evening, drinking cheap wine and pinning ALL the things.. Usually those things are food and usually the pictures look so amazing, you may or may not want to lick your screen. But who actually tries to make the things they pin?? I'm pretty sure I've pinned 300+ recipes (If you count my cake board.. because everyone should have a separate board for cake. It's in a different league - it cannot be combined with ordinary food!) and I know for a fact, I've made less than 10 of them.. and at least half of those have ended badly.. I mean, seriously... Have you seen the pin about the "Most Amazing Salsa Recipe EVER!"... Yeah, probably the most awful thing I have ever tasted in my entire life, as far as salsas go. Who in their right mind puts honey and basil in a regular salsa recipe?!? "Tastes like the salsa you get at a Mexican restaurant!" LIES!! Only if the person making it the restaurant is blind and has no sense of smell.. Anyway.. Pinterest is awesome, but I sometimes wonder how many people just make shit up, post it, then sit back and wait to laugh their asses off as the pins go viral, thanks to their enticing, glorious food photo (more than likely taken from the Food Network website or Martha Stewart or some shit..).. Someone needs to help weed out the nasties... Sometimes you can do it just by reading the recipe - Chicken with Chocolate sauce? Yeah, that's not happening around here.. Unless it's a nicely simmered mole sauce..

And then there are the friends that tell you about a recipe that you need to try, "Listen - I heard this pie is like crack - it's an old Amish recipe and it's, like, seriously the most amazing thing ever. I mean, the AMISH made it! Doesn't that mean that, like, it was the first apple pie - the apple pie that started it all?!" Don't listen to this friend. He/She is full of shit. I grew up in Michigan. I'm a fat-kid, pie-loving, redneck and there were Amish buggies rollin' through my hometown on a daily basis.. I've had Amish apple pie. It's disgusting as F. No cinammon, barely any sugar... It's not worth it, as are several of the other recipes friends have asked me to try. Not saying that all of them are duds - there have been quite a keepers! But that's the whole reason I'm here.. to test out your "friends'" INCREDIBLE recipes and prove them right or wrong.. I live for the challenge!!!

Lastly, there are my own creations.. I like to think I am somewhat adventurous in the kitchen, but am sometimes held back, thanks to picky kids and even pickier husband.. I'm easing them in, though, with my "picky-eater friendly" recipes - homemade versions of boxed classics and such.. But I do make a mean pan of chicken enchiladas (which I promise to share soon!), and baked goods are always a win..

So, if you've made it this far, you deserve a gold star - I wasn't sure how to start a blog - Do I start off right away with a recipe? Do I introduce myself? I settled for incoherent food ramblings and hope at least a bit of it made sense.. I actually made my own version of a Hot Pocket for lunch today and they didn't turn out too shabby - they were actually the reason for starting this blog, so I think I might post that as well - thanks for reading! Until next time!

-Heather